New Year, New…??

I have notebooks from when I was younger…my journals.  At times when I was chronicling My Former Life (lives?) they were at times helpful in remembering those long forgotten details of those dusty memories from so long ago.  And most of them include a few New Year’s Day entries, most of them either trying to sum up the previous year or attempt to commit to something new for the next year.  I remember well writing the one on New Years Day 1993, writing that I knew that this was the year my mother would die.  Such a horrible, terrible, liberating knowledge.

I have no such “epiphanous” (a word I think I invented and used often during those rants) insights this year.  This New Year’s was spent like the last five or so before it; a New Year’s Eve party at one girlfriend’s house, a New Year’s Day party at another.  During these parties I am always asked about our Christmas in Florida, a tradition that we also carry on every year, despite our changes in address and situation (this year, we picked up Z from his new home in Virginia, for example).  This year is much like last year, and the year before it, and for that I should be, and am, grateful.  My life is calm, stable, and fortunate.

But in some ways, this year was different.  I did do something out of my norm on New Year’s this year…I ran a 5K.  This one was my third.  I’ve never done anything like that before, and it made this New Year’s feel very different.  Last year I wore a heavy sweater hoping to hide my burgeoning body and felt very unhappy with my appearance.  This year my pants are a size smaller and I wore a form fitting sweater hoping people would notice the 13 pounds less of me there is this time.  I was smarter in what I ate and drank, and while the scale is up today after several days of out of the norm eating, I still am starting this year with a different feeling about my health and fitness and body.  I’ve been down this road before, of course, but I am determined that my hard work will not be undone this year, but instead will become routine and habit.

I don’t know what this New Year will bring.  Will I finally decide to begin whatever the new chapter in my professional life will be?  Will my husband’s job move us to another new place after having been here for seven years?  Will my elder son propose to his serious girlfriend, or will they not make it?  Every New Year’s Day has these questions about what the next twelve months will be and the exciting possibility that life will change, become better.  But after having lived through 41 of these days, I think I can safely say that the best years are those in which much of what surrounds me stays exactly the same.

Happy New Year’s, everyone.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: