Sunny Days

“Well, where do you want to go?”   R was at the helm of the boat, leading us out of the marina and into the river.

Not just any boat.  His boat.  It wasn’t a fancy boat, or a brand new boat, but it was a 27 foot cabin cruiser with two bedrooms and a kitchen area.  I had tried not to be too blown away by the fact that someone our age could own a boat, but R explained that it was really just like buying a house or a car; you took out a loan and made monthly payments, like anything else.  He’d found the used boat through a friend for a great price, gotten financing, and stored it at the marina at his apartment complex.

Z and I were nestled together on the back bench, both sporting our required life vests.  Normally I didn’t let Z meet men I was dating this soon in a relationship; R and I had only been dating for about a month and a half.   But Z and I had been on several friends’ boats before, when I wasn’t dating anyone, so he simply thought this was another outing with someone Mommy knew.  He was gleefully letting the cool breeze hit his face, respite from the 85 degree day we were having onshore.

“Maybe let’s go up towards the north.  It would be neat for Z to see the beach that we go to sometimes from this angle, don’t you think?”

“Good idea.  We can stop on the way back at some of the restaurants on the water.  There are some good ones between here and there.”  R smiled at both of us and then turned his attention back to the myriad of instruments that told him location, water depth, speed and I didn’t know what else in front of him.

I was having fun dating R.   It was all very adult; we went on real dates (Dawn was forever indebted to me and offered to babysit often), we ate at nice restaurants, we hung out on his balcony with his roommate.   R was easy company and completely willing to see where it all went.   He was five years older than me, and therefore relatively unfazed when I talked about being a single parent.   He had been eager to meet Z today for the first time, and pulled out all of the stops by planning a fun day on the boat for the three of us.  We’d swim, we’d eat, we’d sunbathe.  If Z got tired, there was a nest all ready and made up in the smaller cabin down below.

I watched R as he turned the boat towards the north and pulled his baseball cap on tighter to keep it steady on his head with the breeze.   I wasn’t feeling the same as I had at this point with any of my other big relationships; by a month plus in, I’d been so incredibly sure of Ray, Joe and Tom.  With R, I didn’t feel that same certainty; I kept looking forward to see if he fit, without really giving the here and now a chance.  I kept trying to tell myself to just enjoy the moment, to push past all of that crazy head talk, because just look at how all of those relationships had turned out.  Every time I started questioning it,  R seemed to sense it and pulled me back to the present.   So here we were.  A couple.  I smiled back at R as he threw a glance over his shoulder to see if Z and I were enjoying ourselves.

“This is fun!  Wheee!” Z shouted as R pushed the boat faster now that we were in open water.

I needed to just go with it and enjoy the ride, moment by moment.

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