Shock and Awe

I was standing in my classroom at the University one chilly, March night, staring out into the night sky. Tonight I was teaching Web Design 101 to twelve adult students at varying skill levels.  I loved my classes at the university these days; I loved putting on real clothes and make up and being someone [...]

No Closure

There was no closure. Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.  I watched the images on the TV screen of the rescue workers and hoped beyond all hope that more people would be found in the immense wreckage at what was now being called “Ground Zero” in New York.  I became obsessed with [...]

Something To Do

Helpless. The days that followed the unspeakable tragedy on 9/11 were marked with one feeling beyond any other. Helpless. The lists of the missing grew; some names were added and some names were removed as the days wore on.  I kept hitting refresh on the page for those who worked with our friend Marni at [...]

An Endless Day

I couldn’t sleep that night. R and I had a television in our bedroom.  I’d never had a television on at night when I’d been single; I found it too distracting as I lay there waiting for sleep to come.  But R had always used the drone of a TV to help him fall asleep, [...]

The End of the Day

I finally put on one of Melinda’s videotapes around noon, the news fatigue washing over me.  I remembered what one of my high school teachers, Mr. Tymrak, had said about our minds being molded by the events that had played upon the television screens during our childhood.  He’d said my generation’s cynicism was likely due [...]

Not OK

Less than half an hour into the tragedy, and the picture was becoming startingly clear:  there was no other explanation than the one that seemed obvious but nonsensical:  that two planes had been purposely hijacked and flown into the World Trade Center.    The drone of Matt, Katie and their cadre of eyewitnesses and correspondents [...]

It Is Personal

My head was spinning as I heard eyewitnesses recount impossible to believe details of what they were seeing and hearing that September morning. Matt and Katie speculated about what might be happening in the towers. I stood in front of the TV, unable to move. The sun was shining outside here in the suburbs of [...]

Tuesday Morning

It was a warm Tuesday in early September, 2001. Z was off to school, having started seventh grade a few weeks ago.  I got up with him in the mornings, mostly just to see him off to school; by now he made his own breakfast and packed his own lunches.  I enjoyed these quiet mornings [...]

Middle of the Night Phone Calls

The phone woke me up from a dead sleep. Phones ringing in the middle of the night tend not to be a good thing, but I answered this one quickly hoping that my mother, who also slept with a Slimline phone next to her on a bedside table, hadn’t heard it. It’s hard to imagine [...]

Intense Emotions

“What do you think?” Dawn and Todd were home for Easter that year.  They’d brought their sweet baby girl home with them.  A had been born last October, just eleven months after I gave birth to Zach.  The differences in their experience were stark; I had been there for Dawn as a support person but [...]