What If?

Maybe it’s a mid life crisis. Maybe that’s what it is that is forcing me to be looking back into my past and find resolution, find peace.  I am, after all, in my early forties now, and searching all of the time for where I am going, what I am doing with my life.  Which [...]

What Are The Odds

“Do you ever wear it?” he asked me, looking down at the ring, not meeting my eyes. What a question. No.  The answer was simple.  No.  I never, ever wore the ring. I’d actually forgotten that I’d kept it, for many years.  Which seems rather amazing, considering all that the simple band of gold symbolized. [...]

Dizzy

Back in my twenties, it seemed to make a sort of sense.  When I was searching for The One With Whom I Would Share My Life, I sort of got it.  You know, the idea that one person could just not possibly be enough for a person throughout their whole life. At that point in [...]

Looking Through The Window

I don’t know what made me think of him last night. R is out of town, as he often is, and I was having myself a little Grey’s Anatomy marathon on my computer.  Me, myself and a bottle of wine hunkered down after the children went to bed, and I fantasized about happy endings with [...]

Beach Musings

I was sitting on our patio at our beach condo, the day after Christmas, huddling against the chilly breeze.  I loved our Florida Christmases, with R’s parents and my father all together; it was our new family tradition.  Most people went to the beach in the summer, but we went for our Christmas holiday, and [...]

Foreign Family Members

“Well,” Z said through the phone lines, “I think she is going to ask me if I want to come to the funeral.” I pondered that news for a moment, the bitterness swirling in my mouth as I swallowed.  I tried to picture my son going to the funeral of his biological great grandmother that [...]

Happy Birthday

I sat in the front seat, blindfolded, a gaggle of giggles surrounding me in the SUV. “Where are you guys taking me?” I laughed, trying to go along with the good natured fun my three girlfriends clearly had meticulously planned. It was my 40th birthday.  I had wondered how the evening would play out, with [...]

My Father’s Birthday

We were sitting in the breakfast area of the Hampton Inn with my father. It was Labor Day weekend, and this year, my father’s 70th birthday fell on the Saturday of that weekend. Two years ago, R’s mother had thrown a splashy, expensive party for his father when he’d turned 70.  We didn’t have enough [...]

A Labyrinth of Medicine

“How can they still not know what is wrong with you?” I asked, frustrated, after arriving at the hospital the next morning. It had been a crazy day.  I’d picked R up at work, where they did have a small, medical clinic.  The nurse there did tell us which hospital of the two in the [...]

What’s Wrong?

It was January 2.  I was sitting on the conference room at our Board of Education, listening to our superintendent talk about the school budget. It was a Parents’ Council meeting.  Several representatives from each schools’ PTO came to listen to the district wide news, what each school’s group was doing, from elementary onto the [...]