But Wait It Gets Better

As the fall turned from the warmth of October to the cold gray of November, things felt a little off in our house.  My mother had been under the weather for several days now.  Finally, on a Saturday afternoon when the doctors office wasn’t open (no such thing as Urgent Care in our town in [...]

Black and White and Gray

“Well, I think it is time for a road trip.” Of course Jewel would say that.  She was always the one up for a challenge, and she was indignant that I should have to even bother with such a thing anyway.  But she was up for it. I had filed my suit for paternity back [...]

Pins and Needles

My mother convinced me that we needed to do something about my son’s birth certificate. In the hospital, when I’d filled out all of the forms, I listed Joe’s name in the area for the father.  I knew his birthdate:  1-27-1970, I knew his middle name, I knew his legal address (his grandparents’ house).  What [...]

Early Riser

Now that I had two boys to look good for, and a Prom dress to shop for, I decided it was time to get in shape (again). I wasn’t actually displeased with how I looked overall.  I remember thinking at the time that in the right clothes “you can’t tell I’m fat”.  Which for me [...]

The Car

One of the things that caused me to come to blows with my brother when I visited my siblings earlier this summer was the discussion of The Car. All three of us kids in the family were given cars as teenagers.  I chuckle at this today as my eldest son never had that gift.  Many [...]

Grape Leaves and Conversation

My mother’s friend Janice had her baby. Tiny Matthew was born that spring, just a year after my friend B’s daughter was born and given up for adoption. I craved seeing the tiny little boy with blond hair that looked nothing like his Lebanese mother. I wanted to hold him and play with him and [...]

My Brother, My Pain

It was winter, I remember that. I came home from school that day and wondered where everyone was. Where was everyone? It wasn’t that unusual to find no one home when I came home from school; and I never saw my brother on the bus coming home from school. It didn’t occur to me to [...]

Pregnant People Everywhere

My mother had a friend who was pregnant. She was thirty something, and single. Being pregnant without the benefit of marriage was so unheard of but more especially, it was something that a teenager like me did not expect to find in adult people she looked up to. Her friend was a colleague, someone she [...]

It Gave Me Pause

My mother’s story about her firstborn son that I had never met or even knew about haunted me. I kept wondering about him. He was eight years older than me. He was born in Atlantic City, NJ and adopted a few days after his birth in the summer of 1962. What was he like? Did [...]

The Summer of 1962

It was crazy weird to me that I was getting a charge out of someone else’s mother sending me a letter in the mail. But I was. I kept reading, and re reading the letter that Mindy Hart had written me. She was caring, she was thoughtful and she asked for me to respond. I [...]