Knocking On the Door

It took me several days.  Days of mulling over the what ifs and the if onlys and the why the hell nots.  I looked through the window online a few more times, trying to envision my friend Dennis and what his life would be like now.  He’s older, of course.  Would he have grandchildren?  I [...]

Confusion and Grief

I didn’t know her well.  But when I heard that an acquaintance of mine had a heart attack a few weeks ago, I was still stunned.  A peer, someone I’d volunteered with at the kids’ school, who’d attended our PTO meetings, who lived around the corner from me,  was Just Like Me had had a [...]

Survival

No one believed the forecast. When our weather forecasters started talking about snow in the forecast last Thursday, those of us in SW CT were incredulous.  Snow is virtually unheard of in October here.  Sure, I grew up in Michigan; I remember several Halloweeens spent with winter coats and flakes in the air.  Nothing significant, [...]

Trying Again

When I was younger I thought that being thinner would solve all of my problems.  I would be instantly surrounded with friends, boys would want to go out with me, and my crazy life would somehow find order and purpose.  It’s a struggle I have fought my whole life, this inner dialouge I have with [...]

Life Without Tom

“Can I come over?” I asked my girlfriend Fran, staring blankly at the message on my computer screen. It was three months after Tom had started treatment.  We’d seen him three times, the last time just two weeks ago.  He’d seemed better, less dependent on his oxygen machine and able to actually greet us at [...]

The Price of Winning

We stood around the kitchen island, toasting our victory in this year’s budget battle. It had been hard fought.  We’d had two elections where the votes came within several hundred votes, but we still had been unable to convince voters that a small tax increase was better than the cuts that were inevitable if the [...]

Philosophical Differences

“What the heck is this?” I said, handing over our town’s local paper to the person sitting next to me. We were at our First Selectman’s home on a Saturday morning in April.  He’d invited my group of education advocates over plus a few of his political allies in town to discuss the budget defeat [...]

Not Quite the Fantasy

I walked alone out of the banquet hall, gathering my shawl around me against the chilly Michigan October evening. I wasn’t sure exactly what I had expected out of my 20th high school reunion. I had gone for many of the same reasons that I had gone to my five year one:  to prove something. [...]

The Taste of Victory

“I can’t fucking believe it!” were the words of our illustrious First Selectman on the night of the second budget vote in April, 2008. We were standing in the small 1970s era hallway that led to the Town Clerk’s office on the night of the vote.  Those of us who had spent the last two [...]

Moving Forward

I walked into the coffee shop that Saturday morning in April and was surprised to find so many people waiting there for me. It was the weekend after our first failed budget attempt, and our First Selectman (what our tiny little town called the person who acted as its mayor) had offered to meet a [...]