Squish

I had my first mammogram this morning.   And while they are routine and inconsequential, it had a sobering effect on me. First the paperwork:  “Age of first full term pregnancy:  18″.  “Last date of breastfeeding:  6/2002.”   I’m not going for a mammogram because I’m sick, or anyone is worried.  I’m going because that’s what you [...]

A Bit of a Rant

I hate calling the doctor.  I hate going to the doctor.  I hate making the appointment, the time spent on hold, the time spent in the waiting room, the verification of my health insurance.  I hate the whole thing, which is why I don’t go nearly as often as I should.  I made my appointment [...]

A Labyrinth of Medicine

“How can they still not know what is wrong with you?” I asked, frustrated, after arriving at the hospital the next morning. It had been a crazy day.  I’d picked R up at work, where they did have a small, medical clinic.  The nurse there did tell us which hospital of the two in the [...]

You Can Count On Me

“I just don’t know who to ask for help,” my sister said over the phone. My sister, who still lived in Michigan with her husband and children, needed to have surgery.  This was actually the second surgery she was going to undergo, having had a hysterectomy a few years ago.  She had not healed properly, [...]

It’s Official

It was September, and I was sitting in a small chair in a doctor’s office not far from Yale University Medical Center. It had taken exactly one week of school before I begged the teachers and therapists for advice, help, something that I could be doing for my son that I wasn’t already doing.  He [...]

Speech Therapy

“No language at all?  Not even sounds that don’t really sound like words but he uses the same one for the same situations?” I racked my brain trying to think of something, anything, my son could do that would qualify as him trying to communicate with me.  He would cry, he would make noises but [...]

Michael Turns 2

After Christmas, I spent all of my available time on my computer getting the Shock Street Team up and running in advance for Rick’s new CD release in late February.  I decided to divide up the duties geographically, since most of the tasks I’d delineated required local people on the ground to visit stores, call [...]

Look Who’s Not Talking

“Is he walking?” Michael’s pediatrician asked, one of the long litany of questions she posed from a written list on the computer screen. I answered the questions distractedly.  It was warm and Michael was fussy; Melinda was crawling on the floor rifling through the diaper bag for the stash of Cheerios she knew was in [...]

Little Boys and Big Tests

“But what did he say?” I groaned into the phone. I couldn’t believe it when I had started vomiting the night before Michael’s scheduled hydrocephalus check at the Children’s Hospital.  I had never felt so ill in all of my life.  I spent the evening on the sofa in order to not infect R, who [...]

What Had I Missed?

I sat there, with my baby in my arms, wondering. Had I missed something?  Nothing seemed wrong with him.  He smiled, he ate, he held my finger as he nursed, he sat up in his high chair just like my other two children had.  Nothing seemed different to me, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. [...]