What If?

Maybe it’s a mid life crisis. Maybe that’s what it is that is forcing me to be looking back into my past and find resolution, find peace.  I am, after all, in my early forties now, and searching all of the time for where I am going, what I am doing with my life.  Which [...]

Dizzy

Back in my twenties, it seemed to make a sort of sense.  When I was searching for The One With Whom I Would Share My Life, I sort of got it.  You know, the idea that one person could just not possibly be enough for a person throughout their whole life. At that point in [...]

Looking Through The Window

I don’t know what made me think of him last night. R is out of town, as he often is, and I was having myself a little Grey’s Anatomy marathon on my computer.  Me, myself and a bottle of wine hunkered down after the children went to bed, and I fantasized about happy endings with [...]

Houseguests

“Of course you can come over,” I told Dawn on the phone.  “I’ll set up the Pack and Play in Zach’s room and put him in his old bedroom.   You and A can sleep together in the bed, it won’t be any problem.  I’ll see you in a few minutes.” I glanced at the phone [...]

Wrongs, Rights, and The Stuff In the Middle

It was three days after I broken up with Dennis, and the phone was ringing.  He usually called me on Thursdays, to touch base on our Monday evenings in case one or both of us needed to beg off.   I knew it was him, and couldn’t decide whether or not to pick up the phone. [...]

This Is All I Have

“So how many of your students got the Thanksgiving basket?”  Dennis poured me another glass of wine as we sat together on my sofa.   It was Monday, our night to be together.  Which meant that he went to his regularly scheduled bowling league with teachers from school at seven, he bowled till 8:30 or so, [...]

The Other Woman

I looked around me in the quiet darkness, feeling the blood throb in my temples.  Curled up around my body, warm under the sheets, was Dennis, his breathing regular and deep. I’d taken Zachary to my sister’s for an overnight stay, not even willing to tell her what I was doing; she thought I was [...]

Being a Grown Up

I was walking behind Dawn and Todd with Z’s hand in mine at the cider mill that fall.   The warm fall day with the leaves just at the start of changing was a nice respite from the daily grind that had become my weekdays. Their little girl, A, a year younger than Z, was toddling [...]

The Awkward Option

“What’s it like?”  I looked around my messy kitchen with my table piled high with student information folders, mail threatening to take over my credenza, little tufts of dog fur on the floor because I hadn’t swept in days.  I sunk down in the chair next to me and sighed.  “It’s a million times worse [...]